How to Love Yourself Even When It Feels Impossible

Updated: Jul 16, 2020

It feels like everyone is talking about self-love like it's so easy. What do we do when it feels really hard? Why does it feel like it's harder than it's supposed to be? Although self-love is an individual experience, what if we were more mindful of how we approach self-love?

Most of the time when we think of self love we think of body image and saying "I love you" 3 times in the mirror every morning. But self-love can be much deeper than that.

Some common barriers to self love include:

  • Not practising patience and gentleness

  • Not allowing myself to be a beginner

  • Not allowing myself to fail and make mistakes

Ways to gentle move towards self love include:

  • Don’t force it or set unrealistic expectations

  • Let go of perfectionism

  • Be a leader

We shouldn’t force self-love.

It’s okay to feel like you can't love yourself in this moment. If this resonates with you, the next step would then be to try to fall in love with your potential. When we focus on self-growth it can be easier to express feelings of pride, encouragement and approval. Adapting a growth mindset paves the way towards self-love. Even though you’re not there right now doesn’t mean you’ll never be. You can get there. Give yourself time.

Practising patience with ourselves is an important stepping stone to self-love.

Be patient with your growth. Even if you don’t believe it, you are a work of art and it takes time to create a life that you can feel good about. Knowing that you can get there can provide hope in hard times; a light at the end of the tunnel. Give yourself permission to be a beginner and remain open to learning how to love.

While you walk your path to self-love, I’d like to invite you to ask the question “what if I already do love myself?” There might always be things we would like to change about ourselves as we keep aspiring to be the best we can. A clear sign of self-love is wanting good for yourself. Feeling like you dont have the life you want shows you want yourself to be successful and happy. You want yourself to experience fun, love and light and adventure that comes with life. When we are at war with ourselves, there’s one thing that remains true: we are capable of experiencing better. Even though the life we imagine can feel so distant and out of reach, especially during hard times. To help, we can practise by praying for the highest good and for the gentle evolution of our soul.

You can't hate yourself to the top.

Inside of every one of us is a 3 year old child who wants love. The best way to raise our children to be better people, is not to condemn and judge and ridicule the child. They will more than likely feel defeated, discouraged and misguided. A child will grow with positive reinforcement 10 times out of 10.

Loving yourself means leading yourself to a better life.

As we grow up we realize there comes a point where we turn into our own parents and have to learn to guide our inner child. We have to think about the way we parent and what strategies we can use to guide and teach ourselves. Becoming a leader can help you love yourself because it teaches you to be self-reliant. It’s also a powerful tool we can use to measure our progress. If we’re only working to impress ourselves, then other peoples comments and opinions won’t matter as much.

Being aware of how we feel about ourselves without judging where we are on our path, gives us peace in the moment. From there, it becomes easier to find ways to create a more positive inner relationship. We can then expand to other practices such as building self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence. Consistent effort is key to forming a healthy relationship with yourself. Practising self-awareness is a skill you'll want to adapt and use throughout your life.

Use the following affirmations to find peace right now:

Even though there are things I don’t like about myself, I still deserve unconditional love, happiness and success.

I am capable of creating and maintaining a life full of joy and love.

I am patient and gentle with myself on this journey.

I understand this is a process and vow to learn how to feel better about myself.

I am doing the best I can with what I know right now.

I pray for the highest good for myself.

I know one day I can feel pure love for myself.

I ask for guidance as I walk the path to self-love and inner peace.

I know happiness is possible for me.

I value the relationship I have with myself.

I am grateful for the opportunity to watch myself bloom.

I am always choosing the best for myself.


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